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when your girlfriend forgets to end the call📞 and you hear her saying...

"Eish! sorry about that, that was my uncle" ☹️😭



Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said?





When a lady wants to leave you for no reason she be like ...."I saw you yawning without closing your mouth my children can't grow around such a reckless man"

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆


Dating a Slim guy is cool until you lay your head on his chest then, 🔥Boom you have Adidas Logo on your face😂😂


A boss has to interview 4 girls for a secretary position.....He asked the same question to each one of them.
Boss: "A woman normally has lips in 2 different places. What's the difference between the two?
First Girl: "one is hairy, the other isn't " .....Boss: "OK.. good!"
Second Girl: "one can talk but the other can't ".... Boss: "that's better!"
Third Girl: "one is vertical & the other is horizontal "..... Boss: "Hmm.. clever!"
Last Girl: "one is for me & the other is for my Boss ".
Boss: "you are hired!!🤣🤣🏃‍♂🏃‍♂🤣🤣🏃‍♂🏃‍♂🤣🤣🏃‍♂🏃‍♂🤣🤣
Doctor said i had 3 months to live due to cancer. I killed the doctor and the judge gave me 20years in jail . You can't survive in Africa if you are not smart





NO.1
We ugly guys don't cheat
We know the struggle of getting a girlfriend😂😂😆



NO.2
Some call him "Commando"
Some call him "terminator"
Just because they can’t spell
Annual Saucenegar.😂😂😂

NO.3



When I'm feeling ugly I look at my toes for motivation 😂😂
A lot of you can do the same

NO.4
I REPEAT
If a thermometer uses alcohol and gives accurate readings; then one must not ignore the opinion of a drunkard
Are we together
😆😆😆😆😆😆

NO.5
😉😉😉My landlord came to my shop yesterday to buy condom and I told
him it has finished. 🏃‍♀🏃‍♀This morning, when his wife came to buy bread I told her to tell her husband that the condom he was looking for yesterday are now available🤦‍♂🤦‍♂. Since morning they have been fighting and everybody is now blaming me.👌👌

what's my crime?💁‍♀💁‍♀💁‍♀

NO.6
Men dont cheat, we just practice with other girls to become better boyfriend.🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

NO.7
If You Have Dated A Lady For 3Yrs, With No Intent To Marry Her😔😔😔, 
          Please *Pharao*, Let The *Israelites* Go😂🤣😂😂🤣
                  #Let's Laugh.

NO.8
Am sitted next to this beautiful girl in a matatu and she is smiling at me seductively but I won't smile back until she
pays her fare.




This is January!
No.
i started fearing smoking weed when my my neighbours son started dancing to the sound of my generator and when i switched it off he asked me who had sang that song since i did not want to be rude for i feared he would beat me i told him the singer was Yamaha ft petrol"😂😂💥💥💥💥





NO.11



 I told my doctor that I broke my arm 💪
in two ✌places.
He told me to stop ✋ going to those places.
😭😭😭🙆‍♂🙆‍♂

Just because I am a man doesn't mean I should be able to kill a snake, my sister, I can scream louder than you 😂😂😂😂😂

Then bill gate said to me, please sign this
autograph for me, I woke up immediately
put on my Italian suit and went back to
sleep
How can I dream this dream with ordinary
singlet and boxers.

😋😋😂😂😂


No.
Since my Ex broke up with me, I've no option than to reveal the secret, Her father is a weed dealer
😂 😂 💔



Chinese materials😂😂







Alcohol brain

Sometimes u just have to surprise ur girlfriend especially if u don't have a car.Fetch her from work with a wheelbarrow just to show her that you're willing to buy a car it's just financial problems that won't let u
 😂😂😂😂😂







Under cover agent😂😂





A single punch and he is down










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